“I’m too tired”.
“Nothing is going to change”
“I don’t have time for that”
” I have more important things to do first”
Now I want you to take a moment and think back when is the time your thought those words above.
Now I have a very important question to you.
Was that response to something that you wanted to do for you?
Now I want to point one small clarification . I don’t mean something you do for someone else.
It can be anything. Some personal time to exercise, sip on some coffee to going to your favorite place. It can be business related such as time for research or a seminar. Nails, writing to going to the beach by yourself and sticking your feet in the sand. Absolutely nothing but YOU. Anything. From the smallest thing to the most grandeur thing.
How many times have you ” next time” it to ” when the time is more right” it? How many times have you decided that YOU don’t get to choose YOU.
Woman to woman, I understand. Our reasons are good reasons. Our family, our friends, our obligations. Our struggles. Now we say the most womanly thing don’t we. ” My family comes first”, ” My career is a priority” ” I am being selfish”. We dismiss the very desire we placed in our hearts to do, sometimes with self anger. ” I KNOW MY PRIORITIES” “what was I thinking?”.
Simply stated ” You are just too busy”. We know the world will continue on without it , but baby it won’ t be the same without US in it.
We sometimes get to a bitterness of it. We start to (never truly admitting it) resent a tad part of all the priorities we have placed ahead of ourselves. Sure they can say ” go ahead” ” take the time” ” go do it” but do they mean it? If they do we know they only mean it because they not know how hard it will be with out us. They think they know right? Then they find out and guess who has to be the clean up lady. US.
I get it . I truly get it. You are INSTRUMENTAL to every person who counts on you. Of course we are the thankless Super Heroes. Every once in a while when our loved ones think about it, or something really big happens and they see how awesome you are,we will get the praise and affirmations (for those of us who value them the most). Those moments are less than the moments of every day living.
Everyday living that YOU make possible. Endless motivation, determination and love. Early mornings to late nights. Work all day long in the home or outside and many both. You become the Wife, the Mom, the Nurturer, the Mentor. Some of us do the cooking, the cleaning, the homework. the social media surveillance. All the mean while tackling our everyday struggles with being a Woman in this world; then there’s every other layer of just screwed up Bull Crap! You know them. The too young, too old, women of color, too thin, too thick, too diverse, too educated, not educated enough, lower salary to the fighting for respect and equality in the work force. If that’s not an everyday issue we have our fellow women to have conflict with. The gossips, the judgments, the convictions. Am I hitting the spot here.
I wanted to go through all of that before I say this.
NONE OF THAT MATTERS.
You see you are already defeated before you even step out of your bed and attempt to fight the good fight. You have loss already Sis, because you didn’t choose you.
Let me ask you this. Why should anyone choose you when you don’t choose yourself?
Why should any struggles be any less harder when you don’t believe in you?
Now you might say ” wow that’s extreme to say I don’t believe in myself because I don’t have time to do things for myself”
My response to that is ” it is extreme to think you can do everything this world EXPECTS of you and give nothing to yourself.
For me I, from a young age, believed that I could never offer anyone anything truly authentic without ensuring I was good to go. I figured how can I take care of something if I can’t take care of myself.
I saw how some females was running with both fuses blown and saw short tempers, haste reactions, quick to respond with negativity to not being present mentally or spiritually. I knew then I would choose a different path for my journey in that aspect.
Now I get that taking 30 minutes to go get a cup of coffee in the midst of life when there’s no time seems little. It is not. There are things that every person on this Earth connects with. You know what yours is. Don’t you?
It’s that thing that brings you calmness, personal joy and gratitude. It is a reminder that you are a person. A Being. Not just a wife, mom, friend, colleague and random stranger. You are a person who deserves to bet ALL IN on yourself.
You owe everyone around you that would be silly crazy a mess without you; a unapologetic passionate decision to choose YOU.
The biggest mistake you can make today is not showing up for YOU. I am going to break this down more in the terms of Career and Personal in my next two blogs under Love the Sweets and Lows. I hope you come back and finish reading them.
Until then I hope you choose YOU today. Not tomorrow. Why. Because I know you are important, valued and loved. Start small. One little gesture just for yourself. Commit to yourself to follow through. Ready Set … CHOOSE…
Stay Focus, Stay Positive, Stay Super