I was sitting in my office the other day and was in the middle of planning some family vacation when I got an invite to an event. Looking through it I was debating on attending and decided to go ahead and reserve me a spot. Now the event was being hosted by a friend of mines so later that day she called me and said
” awesome stuff I have you down, plus one for Eric too right“. Eric is my hubby. I replied “nah just rolling solo lovie“. She then ask ” you guys good?” I immediately questioned
” wait was this like a couple thing?” She said ” no not specifically“. More confused, I laughed and said ” oh OK, just going to enjoy the event solo dolo sweetie” She laughed and said ” well you are never solo anymore“.
“Huh, imagine that” I thought. Here I am, Independent, Fierce, Educated, Creative, Ball of energy , Veteran, Well traveled and all that good sauce; and now I have a plus one. “Does this mean, I am his plus one?” popped in my head. Is this what we do now? Automatically it’s us two. I start to think “so if I show up places without my husband, what is that , a red flag? ” Trouble in marriage paradise.
Thinking back, should I had said ” oh Eric has to work”.
Was that the wife who wanted to do something by herself expected proper response?
Was a bold face lie needed to save face and not have silly doubts and suspect energy in the universe about my marriage. Was I thinking too deep even then with that thought. Probably a tad over dramatic I confess, but truly it is a wild thing to think about.
Now I am a half full versus half empty glass of whiskey type of woman if I may say so myself. I think it is kind of cool that the union you create once married has this universal “plus one always” sentiment. You become part of the package. You will always have your plus one for life. Totally awesome. That overall essence is A OK with me.
Now the whiskey itself do have tiny questions though. Are all the ” where is Eric to Eric is going right” just a common natural response we do when talking to a person who is married? I mean it’s more than the casual “hey are you bringing so and so”. It’s this inferred notion that where I go my husband will go. Now I am a spiritual person through and through and my husband likes to say ” I live my life like a movie” so I am all for the connection, union, bond, we ride together sentiment. All day. Everyday. As my young cousin say “Periodt”. However, come on , literally , every single moment. No Sir, No Ma’am.
My Hubby and I haven’t hit our first year of marriage, and as much as I love him to life, miss him when he leaves for long periods of time and get giddy like a high school girl when he comes home each day; even with all that love; I still like to do things by myself. I like to go to cafes, go on my trails and yes to go Events. No problems here. So if you are that person who just automatically assume no husband with me equates to trouble in homeland, then stop it. If you are the wife who, like me, likes to sometime go by yourself. Do YOU boo! Enjoy your solo time. I encourage it. I recommend it and if you happen to be speaking to that person I mentioned just before, give them a smile and leave them with this ” he’s my plus one for life , he’ll catch the next one”.