Just Married: And now I will be Dating Forever

The other day I was sitting around with a few ladies and we were discussing love life. Two of us were married and the two were living the single life. One of the single ladies made a comment

” I am so tired of dating, I can’t wait to get married so I don’t have to go on one more date!”

The other married woman gave me a look and smile as I replied ” lovie I have never stop dating since I have became a married person”. She was actually shocked and wanted to understand what I meant so myself and the other wife tried to break it down.

She isn’t the first person I have heard make that comment; even when I was single I had single friends who just was plain tired of the games and up and downs that the dating scene can bring. They simply wanted to get pass the reset button when ever they had to end things with one relationship and then start another.

For them marriage was the next phase and what happens after you do all your dating. I definitely can see their point of view.

For myself I think my environment and exposure to many married friends allowed me to look at it a different way. Many of my friends who where married lived by the weekly date nights. Back then I thought maybe it was to keep things fresh. I figured, especially for my friends who had been married for over a decade; they needed something to entice something that probably had gotten boring.

It wasn’t until I got married did I realize it was something else. For myself dating my Husband reminds me. It reminds us both of all the reasons we started dating years ago. The fact is living together and being around each other will create routines and normalcy. For the most part I have grown to love our normal but there is a need to remind us of that softer layer, the silly giggles and sweet moments that happens on dates.

We try new things when we go out and even when we just stick with a dinner and a movie, we talk about topics that escapes the household normal conversations. We still talk about goals and dreams and philosophies.

We flirt embarrassingly too much.

Wait I take that back. No embarrassment at all!

He opens the door when we arrive and when we leave. We do random dances in the middle of the parking lots. We learn something new about each other and we are reminded of a trait each other possesses that made us fall in love in the first place.

It is like all first few dates with someone you really connect with. You know the person that at that moment you can start to see yourself with them; for a longer time period. That good spot. The honeymoon of dating. The time frame where you are thinking about them, and telling your friends about the new guy that just might…. but you never want to finish the sentence because the realist in you is a little cautious.

It’s in this phase that makes us all, I believe to continue to throw ourselves back into the mix of dating; regardless of how not right the last one was. That essence is what many I think would bottle up and sell.

There is a saying that goes something like

be willing to keep doing what you do to get them to keep them.

In a simpler thought it comes down to always trying to get to know your spouse. Never stop. Always choose to keep learning . Always remind each other why. Why you are together. Why you fell in love. Why you chose each other. Why is a beautiful question to continue to answer when you are married.

I always say the real dating actually begins after you get married

because there’s no blocking the number on Facebook, Twitter, Snap Chat- nothing. You will be going home with the guy no matter the turns of events so it gives you major motivation to be positive and try to enjoy each other company.

One more thing. It is a beautiful thing in dating your Husband. Taking the time out to place special energy to just be there for your partner and vice versa, placing everyday things on the back burner, just adds the romance and sexiness to it all.

So married ladies , if you haven’t plan a date this week with your husband and single ladies look at dating as something that enriches your future marriage. Much love and positive vibes beautiful ones.

~Terra Howard

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