Love: You only have to get it right once!

Here you are; right here in life; going through another “almost“. An almost great relationship with an almost great guy; but something happens; normally something that sucks terribly. You know the story; the almost faithful one, honest one, ready to commit one and the almost thought you were the one for him one. The next guy comes a little bit different with a little bit more promise and you get back on the saddle again because you almost had it right the last time. Then there’s that guy; the one that literally checks almost every single box of what you are looking for, you know your Mr. Right. The relationship is good and the progression goes beyond any previous ones; you see yourself starting to exhale; you do your part to keep it going right.

Along the way you might start to notice some red flags; you make even start to noticing you choosing not to notice those red flags. Somewhere in this up and down and almost worked relationship you might even get to that mind space of compromising your sanity, standards and self-worth. I mean after all the work and energy you have put in with almost the right ones; something got to give in your favor right? Some of us will conclude we need to change parts of who we are to comply with someone else’s desires and expectations. At some stage you are having a moment of thought : what the hell? Some of us will develop the “all men suck” mantra promoting the “all men are the same” mentality; and who would blame you? There has to be some truth to it right? Some of us will develop thick skin and take the ” if you can’t beat them then join them” reaction and be set on becoming the almost cared girlfriend.  I mean if you think about it, from the first puppy love to all the others; we don’t give ourselves enough credit for our patience and resilience. We come in different forms; the serial daters to the long stretched out committed daters; but many of us tend to have to repeat the dating cycle. The start all over again with a new person in addition to maintaining a positive focus on the outcome is what many of us do. I mean if not then we are all of a sudden labeled as “scorned” “high maintenance” to being told by our own peers ” you will be single forever”. It’s a crazy hot mess if you ask me; which can test any sane woman to her limits; but ; and it’s a gigantic BUT; there’s something that every woman should remind not just herself but every fellow woman they know. It is one of those mind-blowing realization that makes things just stay in their positions. You ready for it?

You only have to get LOVE right once. Let that sink in for a second. It doesn’t matter how many were almost and all the way wrong for you. All it takes is one right one and all those “others” becomes just that. It’s that fact that makes letting go of those almost -could had- been- your -right person something you can deal with. Each “almost” wasn’t a failure on your part; but instead a lesson to store in your arsenal; to accompany you and prepare you for the one that matters the most. So ladies when you had that horrible date or you finally stop accepting the red flags and move on; don’t feel despair; and definitely don’t feel like you have reached the cream of the crop of the love in your life. We have been built for this and have the needed embedded patience and resilience to weather the sea of “almost” the one relationships. We owe it to ourselves to remember each time we hit the reset button and start again that we are not continuing on to nowhere but instead we are going through our journey towards the right love for us.  Say it with we ” it doesn’t matter how many times it didn’t go right because boo it only has to get right once”.  Funny thing about come to truly believe in your purpose and life is that when you realize you only have to get it right once; you allow yourself to cut the BS on the ones you know aren’t right. You realize you are not giving away or giving up on something you need and can’t live without; but rather freeing up your love and energy for the love that is indeed right just for you.

Love is a beautiful thing. Love is a wonderful gift. Love is unique and many times unorthodox.   Love is that puzzle piece that never quite fits in the space you are certain it is suppose to fit in; until you find the piece hidden under the box that pops right into place. Some of us will be frustrated that we wasted so much time trying to make it fit, while others are excited that we finally found the missing piece.

 

Love,

Your Biggest Cheerleader in this journey called life, with the sweetest kiss of love

~Terra

2013-06-08 02.13.16

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